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The emotional cost of feeling unseen at work

As we grow from childhood to adulthood, the places where we spend most of our time shift from school and home to the workplace. Adult life at work is often characterised by busy days and numerous responsibilities.

However, this place where we spend so much of our adult lives is also where many feel most lonely. It’s a strange thought when we consider the number of hours spent surrounded by colleagues. Yet, workplace loneliness remains a common yet silent issue worldwide.

This is not just about its effects on workplace productivity; it is about how loneliness can impact self-worth, emotional stability, and even physical health.

In a world centred around connection, many employees feel isolated in ways they never anticipated.

Part of the problem is that loneliness at work rarely appears dramatic. It doesn’t display the signs typically seen in issues like burnout, stress, or absenteeism. There are no obvious warnings, no raised voices, and no sudden changes in performance.

Instead, it creeps in quietly. It manifests as the person who keeps conversations brief, the teammate who prefers to eat lunch alone, or the colleague who appears fine on the surface but feels strangely disconnected underneath.

Loneliness is not about how many people are around you. Instead, it is about feeling unseen or unsupported. You can be in a crowded office and still feel like no one knows you.

This feeling of loneliness is present in workplaces that mistreat their employees, but it is also seen in supportive workplaces. Even in teams that support us and treat us fairly, we can feel out of place.

The inside jokes, the quick chats, the shared lunches, all of it can make you feel like you are watching a conversation you were never invited into. It is not about exclusion, just a quiet feeling like you don’t belong with the people around you.

You want to contribute to the team, but the group’s social dynamics make you feel like an observer, as if you weren’t even there.

Why does this happen? One reason is something researchers call the belonging gap. Humans are wired to look for signs that they matter to the group around them. When those signals are faint or missing, the brain reacts as if something vital is slipping away.

That reaction can stir up worry, self-doubt, and a sense of being excluded.

You may start wondering whether you said the wrong thing, missed an unspoken rule, or whether others are judging you, even when nothing suggests they are.

Another reason is due to remote work. Many people enjoy the freedom and flexibility of working from home, yet others quietly struggle with a sense of distance.

The work gets done, messages are exchanged, meetings run on schedule, but something feels missing. Technology keeps everyone connected, but it cannot fully replace the simple comfort of sharing a space with others.

Screens make communication easy, but they can also make relationships feel thin, leaving some workers unsure whether they are truly part of a team or just a name on a screen. This was especially prevalent during Covid-19 when employees felt disconnected.

The effects of workplace loneliness reach far beyond the office. It can follow a person home, shaping how they talk to their family or how they feel when the workday ends. They can feel guilty for coming home drained not being able to do anything else.

This type of loneliness is not about being physically alone. It is about feeling emotionally disconnected throughout the day, which leaves the person too tired to engage with the people they love.

While the causes of workplace loneliness vary, the heart of the issue is simple. People need to feel valued. They need the sense that someone hears them, recognises their efforts, and cares enough to check in.

One of the most effective ways to reduce loneliness is through micro connections. These are the brief but meaningful moments when someone feels acknowledged, like when a coworker asks how your morning is going and actually listens to the answer.

They might seem minor, but these interactions reinforce a sense of belonging and connection within the community.

Leaders and coworkers alike play a role in this. A simple thank-you, a short chat before a meeting, or an invitation to lunch can soften the edges of isolation.

For teams working remotely, turning on cameras for a few minutes, sharing personal updates, or checking in casually can create moments of connection that help reduce feelings of loneliness. None of this requires dramatic gestures. It only requires intention.

It also helps to remember that loneliness is not a personal failure. It is a human response. Feeling disconnected does not mean you are not capable or likeable. It simply means you need a connection, which is something everyone deserves.

Reaching out to a trusted coworker, joining a group discussion, or even mentioning your feelings to a manager can help.

Whether you are a leader, a teammate, or someone trying to find your place, you can make the environment warmer and healthier. A workplace built on real connection is not just more productive. It is more human.

Pay attention to how you feel at work. Notice how others seem to be doing. Reach out when you can. And if you are feeling lonely, know that you can speak up. The next move is yours.


This article was originally published on The Kathmandu Post, an ANN partner of Dawn.



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